As you scroll through Instagram or Facebook, you’ll often times see your friends at this event or that event. Sometimes you’ll see bloggers or celebrities on exotic vacations or fun looking events. Then you look at your own life and you feel– FOMO. We all know what FOMO is- the Fear Of Missing Out but recently I learned about JOMO. It’s the Joy of Missing Out! We all have felt FOMO. I used to feel it all the time growing up. We always feel like other people are having more fun than us.
Why is that? Are they truly having a better time than us or is that all for show? We all know that social media contains just snippets of someone’s day. (Well, some people share their whole day but still, it’s pretty difficult to really know what someone’s life is like from just following them on social media.) But honestly, when you look at what others have or what others are doing, you’ll start comparing your life as if it doesn’t measure up even though your life is perfectly fine.
When I was younger, I remember feeling left out a lot. Groups of friends would hang out and often times, I wouldn’t be included. We didn’t even have Facebook back then but people would talk about the fun they had and since I wasn’t there, I wouldn’t know what they were talking about. But reflecting back, I realized that people don’t always have to ask ME to hang out. I can be the person to ASK others to hang out too. This is something I have to work on even to this day. I can be proactive in cultivating my friendships and outings instead of feeling left out. Sometimes the feeling of being left out was more in my head than in real life.
Life as a Blogger
As a blogger, I sometimes see my blogger friends go to events, press junkets, press trips and other things that I don’t get to do. It used to bum me out a lot when I first started blogging. Sometimes I still get a bit sad when I see others get to do things I don’t. But ultimately, I have to look at what I am doing (which is plenty) and be happy with it. Plus, brands can’t invite everyone. My blog isn’t always a good fit for a campaign or an event. So instead of sliding into their DMs about how they got invited to XYZ, I support them by commenting, liking and pinning their stuff!
When I first started blogging in 2015, one of my goals was to get invited to Disney Social Media Moms Conference. It looked like such an amazing opportunity and learning experience. As a Disney fan, it would be a dream come true! I remember googling online and reading posts about how to get invited. I tried doing all those things but sadly, I was never invited. This year Disney had a different conference called Disney Creator Days. While I would have loved to have gone, I wasn’t invited to that either.
Despite not being invited by certain brands to participate in conferences or events, does that change who I am or the quality of my work? No, I’m still me and my work is still valuable and true to who I am. Just because a brand doesn’t pick me for a campaign doesn’t mean what I do sucks. It just means I wasn’t right for that campaign and that other people were a better fit. For example with Disney, I still will post about Disneyland or Disney because we genuinely love it. I love sharing information and will do so if it’s relevant to my blog and what my audience/readers want.
So as an encouragement to you, how can you have JOMO instead of FOMO in your life? These are the things that help me:
- Step away from social media. If something online is causing me to feel left out (Facebook, IG, blog), I step away from it. I turn it off so it’s out of sight and mind.
- Have a thankful heart. I try to look at all that I have instead of what I don’t. Usually when I see all that I already have and things I’ve been able to do, I realize how blessed I am already.
- Remember who I am. I have to know who I am. Am I someone who would really write about that particular product or brand? For me- as a homeschooling mom, I wouldn’t write about a dating app. You have to remember who you are. Stay in your lane. You can’t write about everything. Same goes in the real world. Maybe I wouldn’t have enjoyed that outing because it’s not something I would do. I’m not going to change myself to fit in.
- Don’t compare myself to others. This can be a hard one but it puts my mind in a bad place when I start comparing myself to other people. It makes me feel “less than.” I get dissatisfied with all the amazing things I do have when I look at what I don’t. So I have to literally snap out of it by redirecting my focus on something else and going back to step 1 and step away from social media.
- Be happy for others. When friends walk into their dreams, instead of having FOMO and wishing it was me, I have JOMO by being genuinely happy for them. Their dreams didn’t come true overnight. I know they worked hard to get to there. Sometimes people get lucky and good things always happen to them but most of the time, they probably went through a lot to get to where they are.
So ultimately with JOMO- I try to focus on all the good that’s in my life. I practice JOMO by being happy with where I am, what I have, and what I’m doing. Of course, we should always strive for more in our lives and have goals, but not if it causes you to feel left out or worse about yourself. When groups of friends get together and I’m not included, I’m not offended or upset. If I want to hang out with them, I can call them too. Does that make sense? There’s no point in making people feel guilty for not including you.
Do you feel FOMO or JOMO most of the time?
Check out this post about Choosing Joy in the Millennial Age.